De-escalating Tension: The Power of Empathy in Communication

In a fast-paced world where results are often given priority over process, it’s easy to overlook the role emotions play in everyday communication, and we ignore the power of empathy in communication. Within any team, you’ll find a mix of personalities; some are driven by outcomes, others by structure and systems, and many by feelings and connection. All are valid, and all contribute differently to how a team functions.

When conflict arises or communication breaks down, what turns things around isn’t a perfectly written policy or a formal warning, it’s empathy.

Here’s how we recommend putting empathy into practice in day-to-day leadership:

Start with Verbal Communication, Not Just Emails

It’s tempting to default to written communication, especially when conversations feel uncomfortable. But during tense situations, tone, facial expressions and active listening matter, and tone rarely translates well in an email or chat message.

If something feels off, whether it’s a team member’s performance or interpersonal friction, pick up the phone, schedule a video call, or have a face-to-face conversation. Verbal communication shows respect, allows room for nuance, and helps avoid misunderstandings that written words can unintentionally trigger.

Listening: Everyone Wants to Feel Heard

One of the most common reasons people become frustrated at work is because they feel no one is truly listening. It’s not always about getting their way, it’s about feeling acknowledged.

Giving someone the space to speak without interruption and asking open questions to clarify instead of jumping to conclusions can dissolve most tension before it builds. When people feel seen and heard, they’re more likely to engage constructively, even if the ultimate decision doesn’t entirely align with their wishes.

Make Check-Ins Routine, Not Reactive

Regular check-ins with team members aren’t just a “nice to have”, they’re a strategic tool for early intervention. We encourage leaders to hold informal or formal one-on-ones at least fortnightly, not just to talk about KPIs or performance, but to check in on how people are feeling in their roles.

When these issues are caught early, they’re easier to resolve, and they rarely escalate into conflict. Creating consistency in communication builds trust, shows care, and creates a team culture where people feel supported.

Look for Common Ground and Shared Goals

Tension in the workplace often isn’t about misaligned values, it’s about how people think they need to get there. When guiding teams through conflict resolution, we encourage leaders to focus on shared objectives.

Use questions such as:

“What outcome are you hoping for?”

“What’s important to you as we move forward?”

“How can we prevent this from becoming a recurring issue?”

Framing the conversation around mutual goals shifts the dynamic from confrontation to collaboration, turning “me vs. you” into “us vs. the problem.”

Finally, de-escalating tension isn’t just about what happens in the moment, it’s about cultivating a workplace culture where respect, psychological safety, and open dialogue are the norm.

Empathy isn’t about being soft or avoiding difficult conversations.

If you’d like support in navigating difficult conversations or support the business in developing communication skills we are here to help. Feel free to contact us or book a consultation using the link below. We’d be happy to support you and your team.